That’s the real question we ask ourselves in every relationship. Is it love or likeness? Nowadays, unlike fairytales, we are more worried about the fact if we really like them. Not the other way around. Is it a relationship that is bound to go on forever? Unlike popular belief, true love is not rare, I believe that. We all, at some point in life, fall for someone but let them slip away for so many reasons. One of which is that we didn’t realise it was love, then. If you are in a relationship at the moment and are trying to look for clarity, here are a few questions which we have designed after talking to many couples.
1. IS HIS/HER SOUL YOUR FIRST PRIORITY?
When you truly love someone, this is something that changes in your life without you realising it.
You start to think of your partner in every step you take. Whether it is a plan the gang is making for tonight or it is about planning to move to another city. All your big and small plans will involve your partner’s point of view being tremendously involved.
It is when you automatically start to believe in them more than you believe in anyone else or your own self for that matter. Don’t think that I mean your partner starts to govern your life, NO. You start to find in them, with utter trust, the guidance we all need in every step.
Your partner becomes your priority when you truly love them. Cancelling a plan to stay in with your partner starts to seem like a preferable choice.
2. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON OR THE WAY THEY MAKE YOU FEEL?
One of the scariest questions but the one that will clear the confusion by 50%. You need to be truthful and honest to your own self before you can tell someone else that you love them. There is nothing worse than saying ‘I love you’ and soon realising that you never really did. It’s a suffocating situation and you really don’t want to be in that situation.
Carefully evaluate why you are in your relationship. Is it just that you like being pampered or being taken care of because we all love it, we are supposed to. There is no reason to feel guilty about this. Know that this is something you can find in every relationship, initially. Soon, when reality sinks in, you will get so used to this that they won’t be something new, you will realise that you only loved the way you were being treated.
The answer that you should be looking for within yourself should be “He is a kind hearted man and that’s why I love him” or “Her smile lights up my world”. If thinking about them reminds you of their qualities and how they are great people not ONLY because of how they treat you but because of who they are with others as well then you are in love.
3. CAN YOU LIVE WITH THEIR FLAWS?
It is a hard question and you need to understand it first to be able to answer it properly. Flaws, we all have flaws. Being human, we are SUPPOSED to have flaws. Flaws that make us unique and beautiful. You can not find someone who has absolutely no flaws. But the real question is, can you make your peace with them? I believe in this strongly, we are all capable of settling with someone that has a certain set of unappealing characteristics.
I might be able to settle with someone who gets really angry at small things but immediately realises it and apologises. Someone might not be. For some people, they cannot deal with anger. They would rather go on for days and days, giving each other the silent treatment rather than getting everything out of their system all at once. So you see, you need to think if you can put up with their slightly flawed side for a long time or even a lifetime. If you can, its surely a wise decision to be with them.
Share your answers with me
Did you honestly answer all of the above questions? Share your answers with me in the comments below and I will share mine. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive